Is All Sexual Pleasure Immoral Outside Sexual Intercourse: Refuting a Common Objection

Overview

Is all sexual pleasure outside intercourse immoral according to Catholic teaching? This article refutes the common objection that any genital stimulation outside the marital act is intrinsically disordered by clarifying the crucial distinction between complete and incomplete sexual acts.

Is All Sexual Pleasure Immoral Outside Sexual Intercourse: Refuting a Common Objection 

While our Apostolate has done much over the years to elucidate what the Church teaches on marital sexuality and have shown repeatedly that our opinions are in line with the common teaching of orthodox moral theologians, there are still many tradition-minded Catholics who push back on some of the perspectives we offer. For this reason, I want to kick off a series of articles where we address and tackle specific objections that have come our way over the years. This is so that we can assure you as our readers that all of the perspectives we offer here are thoroughly grounded in traditional Catholic moral theology. 

Objection: Stimulation outside sexual intercourse is intrinsically disordered because of the teaching of Pius XII: 

Stating the objection: It is always wrong to engage in genital stimulation outside sexual 

intercourse because to stimulate the organs of generation is to begin the conjugal act. Therefore, unless that very same stimulation of itself terminates in the emission of seed into the vagina, it is against the nature of the marital act and would therefore be mortally sinful. This teaching is confirmed by Pius XII who teaches the following: “By the force of this law of nature, the human person does not possess the right and power to the full exercise of the sexual faculty, directly intended, except when he performs the conjugal act according to the norms defined and imposed by nature itself. Outside of this natural act, it is not even given within the matrimonial right itself to enjoy this faculty fully. These are the limits to the particular right of which we are speaking and they circumscribe its use according to nature.”[1] (Address to the Second World Congress on Fertility and Sterility, 19 May 1956)

Reply to the objection: 

This objection fails to take into account a crucial distinction that is admitted by virtually all traditional moralists and is actually articulated explicitly in the objection’s quote from Pius XII, and that would be the distinction between an incomplete and a complete sexual act.

An incomplete sexual act is one in which sexual pleasure arising from the organs of generation is experienced but not to the point of orgasm. 

A complete sexual act is one in which the sexual pleasure arising from the organs of generation does terminate in orgasm. 

With this distinction in mind, it becomes immediately evident that the original objection flatly misreads Pius XII’s moral admonition. Pius does not say all sexual activity whatsoever can only be enjoyed in the marital act, but that the full exercise of the sexual faculty can only be enjoyed in the marital act, which puts him squarely in the same vein as the school of moral theologians who taught very clearly that husband and wife can enjoy incomplete mutual acts together outside the marital act but that sexual acts which terminate in orgasm or which constitute a near occasion for orgasm must be reserved exclusively to the marriage act itself. Even St. Alphonsus Liguori holds this very same opinion, contrary to the assumption of many traditionalists when he says, concerning whether there is “mortal sin in sexual touches and glances between spouses … without their culmination in the marital act outside danger of orgasm”:

“But the common and truer opinion denies [that this is a mortal sin] … [t]he reason is that just as the conjugal state justifies sexual union, so also it  justifies sexual touches and looks; for otherwise, since there is such a great familiarity between the spouses and they cannot often come together for the marriage act, they would be exposed to constant dangers if such incomplete sexual acts were gravely unlawful for them. Therefore, just as the pleasure sought in the marriage act does not exceed venial sin, neither do such  touches and looks”[2]

Therefore, so long as the danger of orgasm outside the marital act is altogether excluded, husband and wife are free to preserve and foster their mutual love through these incomplete sexual acts. This becomes all the more relevant when the marital act is off limits due either to indefinite use of NFP or some intervening medical complication. This being said, the temptation for this to become a license for pursuing hedonistic pleasure can be quite real and so such acts must be regulated by a sense of moderation and Christian restraint.

References

 1. Pius XII, Address to the Second World Congress on Fertility and Sterility, 19 May 1956

 2. Alphonsus Liguori, Theologiae Moralis, Lib. vi. Tract vi, de Matrimonio, 933, q. 4